The Unshakeable Self

I’ve always admired unshakeability - the knack of being able to stay composed and centred in the face of life’s challenges. As with physical fitness, this takes more than just having a strong constitution. We need flexibility to adapt to change, and agility to manoeuvre through it.

Much of our reaction to our environment and circumstance is involuntary. Our autonomic nervous system is continually shifting between two alternately dominant modes. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) speeds our biological functions up, and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) slows us down.

When we encounter conflict or crisis, the SNS kicks in, putting us in a state of high alert, flooding us with adrenaline, increasing heart rate and suppressing resting functions in readiness for fight or flight. When the crisis subsides, the PNS helps us to recover.

The PNS is largely controlled by the longest cranial nerve in our body - the vagus nerve, named for its wandering nature - which extends from the brain stem, forking down the neck, branching through the upper body, and descending into the abdomen. It functions as an intelligent safekeeping system, monitoring how we’re reacting, relaying information back and forth between our brain and bodily organs, regulating their functions.

The SNS and PNS, though in physiological opposition, are engaged in constant interplay, working to achieve homeostasis. Since life is inclined to throw a hefty amount of stressors into the mix, we may find our equilibrium threatened, and our SNS propelled into overdrive as we struggle to stay on course whilst being buffeted around.

In moments of panic, if unable to fight or take flight, we can freeze, shut down, and disassociate, as if caught in a trap. According to neuroscientist and psychologist Dr Stephen Porges, this is part of a hybrid evolutionary response, linked to the most primitive circuit of the dorsal vagus nerve.[1] It’s a self-protective, passive form of defence, synonymous with an animal playing dead when caught by a predator - and it can affect us even in harmless circumstances.

Many years ago, I had an attack of stage fright whilst working as a TV extra. I was booked to appear in an identity parade on a comedy panel show. All I had to do was stand still, say nothing, and be jovially ridiculed as part of the entertainment. I thought it would be easy.

I waited in the wings with three girls who were to be with me in the line-up. We watched a bit of the show, then trooped out on cue. I was immediately overwhelmed. I hadn’t accounted for the studio audience, crammed into the dark, unexpectedly small, dungeon-like space. Suddenly, it seemed, I was nose-to-nose with a tsunami of terrifyingly distorted faces, howling with harsh laughter. I froze, my heart racing, bowed my head and anchored my eyes to the floor.

Because of the audience, I became confused, thinking the show was being aired live (it wasn’t) and I was trembling all over. The only way I could prevent myself from falling to pieces was to keep my head down, and not look at anyone. I wanted to make myself invisible. Everyone’s attention was on me, I was sure. They’d be nudging each other, whispering, and pointing at the pitiful wreck. I had no option but to finally wrench my eyes from the safety of the floor for our segment. I forced my head into an upright position, but couldn’t stop shaking.

We were merrily mocked in turn. I looked across at one of the team captains on the panel - a very well-known actor - who was studying our group. Despite the theme, there was warmth and compassion in his eyes. It felt like a human connection, and his presence was soothing. There was something in his gaze that helped me calm down, and when the segment was over, I was sorry that I couldn’t do my bit again. The footage was edited in such a way that I didn’t appear as a total casualty, though had it been unusable, I’m sure they could have just cut me, or shot it again. It was only a minor glitch.

This is often the truth of things: we magnify our predicaments out of proportion, and imagine outcomes that never are. The TV studio seemed a threatening space, full of hostile onlookers. Once shooting was over, it was perfectly safe, but nothing had changed except for my state of panic.

It’s hard to change a mental state when it’s already upon us, or quell a physiological reaction that’s underway, but with practice and experience we create neural pathways that enable faster adaptation. This applies to all forms of training, whether it’s public speaking, theatrical performance,  sports, or modes of combat.

So, contrary to the popular saying, I believe that life is a rehearsal. Today’s unfamiliar territory will become tomorrow’s home ground, because we’ve been there, had the experience, gone through the motions, and know the lie of the land. Nevertheless, we have to prepare for things to not be always as we expect. If we prime ourselves for the unexpected, that in itself becomes a familiar assumption, eliciting acceptance and a degree of rationality.

So what can we do to condition ourselves for better all-round adaptability? Here are some things I’ve learned, experimented with, and enjoy doing.

Taking stock and going with the flow

Often, we’re caught out simply because we’re walking around with our heads down, eyes locked to our phones, or with headphones on, narrowing our personal field of awareness. That becomes our default state. We’re so immersed in our bubble that we’re easily startled by interruption, and can miss what’s in plain sight.

Instead, we can be open and curious. We can consciously take stock of where we are at any given time by examining our surroundings. Even if we’re in a familiar setting, there may be something new to note. We can observe every scenario through the eyes of an artist, looking for elements of interest.

We can methodically take stock of unfamiliar spaces, mapping and memorising details. We should never be afraid of a space, or intimidated by others who are sharing it. If we do feel that way, we can make it a game, imagining that we’re emotionally uninvested: a researcher at work, studying and filing information as we go. Even when we’re faced with an unfamiliar scenario, there will inevitably be something recognisable that we can focus on, identify with, and use as an anchor as we acclimatise, and explore the new territory.

Practising to make perfect (or at least, better!)

When we feel we have wobbled, or failed at something, we can reframe that feeling of disappointment, and perceive the past as a rehearsal. We can imagine it again, exactly as we wish it to have been, making our rerun bigger and brighter. Next time, we will do things better! For forthcoming challenges, we can prerun the scenario, immersing ourselves in the feeling of being confident, centred and grounded.

In the moment, wherever we are, we should feel able to face (and integrate with) our environment by keeping our head up, our gaze forward, and our feet rooted. We can then assimilate and engage with whatever space we’re in, finding that neutral, familiar, and soothing point of reference.

We can practise physical systems of energy management. I like to use a traditional qigong technique for grounding and self-regulation. This involves directional breathing through an energy point on the soles of the feet. The point is called Yongquan (Bubbling Spring), and is positioned in the centre of the sole laterally, a third of the way down its length. It acts as a gate for the transfer of qi, or vitality.

The method is as follows. In a standing or sitting position, centre yourself deep in your abdomen. This area contains your core of power, known as the lower dantian. Breathe deeply and slowly from the abdomen. Next, bring your attention to the Yongquan points, and exhale down through your legs, out of both points, and into the ground.

Then inhale, drawing nourishing energy up from the ground, through the same points, circulating it in the lower dantian. This recalibrates and energises the whole body. Repeat the sequence until you feel refreshed. Use the technique at any time, to purge unwanted conditions and recharge the body and mind. In ancient times, it was said to be a breathing method of immortals.[2]

Moving and resting

We can make sure to incorporate functional physical exercise into our day, especially activities that challenge and train proprioception: our ability to balance and safely control our position and movement in space. Also useful is exercise that recruits fast-twitch muscle fibres, such as throws, catches, lifts and jumps. These types of exercise enable us to be physically reactive and adaptive if we’re thrown off our centre.

Training doesn’t have to be extreme - just focused. As well as making us physically healthy, it triggers the release of neurotransmitters which positively affect our emotions and cognitive processes. A daily exercise session naturally resets mind and mood.

We can open ourselves up by learning a new activity, or doing things a different way. It’s all too easy to jog along on the same circuit, or stick to the same routine at the gym. It’s comfortable to be a master of one skill, and less so to become a novice at another, but learning keeps us flexible, and receptive to change.

Resting is sacred. It’s our time for recovery. Overwork, overtraining and sleeplessness lead to impaired neurological and cardiovascular function and lowered immunity. When we take time to unwind, and prioritise sleep, our rest phase renews, strengthens and stabilises us.

Looking after the gut

Our gut - or more specifically, our enteric nervous system - is often referred to as our second brain. It has the greatest concentration of nerve cells in the body, and communicates with our central nervous system via what’s known as the gut-brain axis.

When our SNS is fired by stress, our primal survival instinct takes over with a flood of hormones that can disrupt gut microbiota, digestion, and bladder and bowel control. Likewise, if we’re stressed, or rushed, digestion is impaired, so this is not the time to eat. Our gut needs a break for digestion.

We can take good care of ourselves with the foods we eat (curbing inflammation), and in how we eat them (practising moderation, and stopping before we feel full). Everything that we eat triggers a reaction in our body, transforming us, affecting all parts, right down to the colonies of microbes in our gut, which interact with our cells and organs, protecting us from (or causing) illness, and even affecting our mood.

Again, I find qigong useful for keeping my system in check. One of the first exercises I learned was how to revolve (and follow) qi in a circuit from the lower dantian through the main bodily channels, along specific energy points. This stream forms a loop, from the perineum, up the back, through the crown of the head, and down the front of the body. It’s known as the small circulation, or microcosmic orbit.[3] It’s helpful to be aware of this personal circuit, so we can smooth internal flutters into its flow.

Breathing and vocalising

Our breathing patterns influence heart rate, blood pressure, and hormonal secretion. It’s easy to get caught holding our breath, or breathing anxiously from the chest, instead of deeply from the diaphragm. Mindful breathing can ease and balance our system.

If caught in a stressful moment, and for a swift solution, I like to use a method known as a physiological sigh, popularised by neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman.[4] It consists of two successive inhalations (with no exhalation between) followed by a long, lung-emptying exhalation. I’ve found that repeating this exercise a few times helps me destress quickly, or even fall asleep. Box breathing is another useful method: inhaling to a count of four, retaining the breath for four, exhaling for four, and holding for four.

The vagus nerve connects with our vocal chords, so we can summon our power to calm with resonant voice exercises, like chanting in meditation, or as a warm-up before public speaking. Singing, laughing, and gargling also trigger the parasympathetic response.

Practising qigong every day

If you haven’t guessed already, qigong is my favourite all-round method of energy management! With meditative movement, internal focus and mindful breathing, it mobilises vital flow, helping to correct imbalances in the body. I find it hugely beneficial for tuning in to those subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, inner workings that make up the most important parts of us, which we can often feel, but not see.

I practise a form known as the Eight Pieces of Brocade[5] every morning, which energises and prepares me for the day. If I feel overtaxed before bed, I like to do a sequence called the Six Syllable Formula, or Six Healing Sounds.[6] This purges the bodily organs of stress and regulates the energy centres as a prelude to sleep.

A final thought

We can’t control the unpredictability of life, but we can be in charge of the way we treat ourselves. This is our counterbalance to, and remedy for, life’s chaos. If we can rely upon ourself to take care of our own mind and body, and in so doing make the best of our predicaments, I think that brings us closer to a state of harmony. And maybe even unshakeability.

Notes:

1. Porges, Dr Stephen, ‘The Polyvagal Perspective’, NLM, 2008: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1868418/#R95

2. Dr Yang, Jwing-Ming, The Root of Chinese Qigong: Secrets for Health, Longevity, and Enlightenment, Third Edition, YMAA, 2022, p.134: “The normal person breathes in his throat; a real person (an immortal) breathes through his feet.”~ Zhuangzi

3. Chia, Mantak, Awaken Healing Energy Through the Tao: The Taoist Secret of Circulating Internal Power, Aurora Press, 1993 (a practical guide and workbook); see also: Keser, Han Serhan, ‘Microcosmic Orbit Meditation’, 2022: https://www.mantakchia.com/microcosmic-orbit-meditation/

4. Huberman, Dr Andrew, ‘Breathwork Protocols for Health, Focus & Stress’, Neural Network Newsletter, Huberman Lab, 2023: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/breathwork-protocols-for-health-focus-stress

5. Demonstration: Deyin Taijiquan Institute - Tai Chi, ‘Health Qigong - Ba duan Jin / Eight Pieces of Brocade by Li Hui (Master Faye Yip)’, YouTube, February 2021: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzpTLQap0o and see my version here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPkBEJzgP4A/?igsh=b2J5M2docXVibTV6

6. Demonstration: Master Mantak Chia, ‘Six Cosmic Healing Sounds by Mantak Chia’, YouTube, April 2014 (1/4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaZDJP1jkOw&list=PLN5Gm1Yt9qQ-VJ-EI-zkSz6kxjdB7F-hw&index=1